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Valentines Day For Singles!


Dun dun dun.....it's that time of year again. If you're in a relationship, then congrats on you doing those oh so cute activities filled with flowers, balloons, and cute Instagram post. Just remember ladies: make sure your man doesn't only show his love for you on this day, and neglect the remaining 364 other days of the year. I won't dive into that subject at this point and time, but nonetheless enjoy!


Now.......for my singles out there......


First of all breathe! It's going to be okay. I promise you. Want to look at this day in a new perspective? Well, in all honesty, I truly believe this holiday was created for the sole purpose for big corporations to make tons & tons of money. Companies know how important feeling loved is for humans, especially during this time in the world. I highly doubt this day was meant for you to "feel" special let alone receive true love.


Don't sweat it!


Now, if that doesn't help ease the pain for this day, let me tell you my experiences I've had that made me realize 1). Its just another day and 2). You can still celebrate this day single and it mean more.


As a young girl I always dreamt of getting a big bouquet of red roses, chocolate candies galore, a candle-lit dinner overlooking the ocean, and to be so in love with the person I was with. Well, I've gotten most of those things but, with one major twist: I, along with about 3 others, got the SAME things! Yup, the relationship I was in at the time was filled with many women beyond just me. At the time this happened, I didn't see the clues that I might be in some love triangle. But, like most things in life, the truth quickly came smacking me right in the face and I found out. I was devastated! And this didn't happen for just one year. It happened every single year I was in this relationship. Talk about being played.


I'll be honest, after these incidents, I hated this holiday, and I mean it was a deep hate. But, since I've really worked on my relationship with God, it's allowed me to heal and look at this holiday in a completely different light. The biggest lesson, besides that it's honestly just another date on the calendar, is this:


Who say's someone else has to show me how much they love me? Why don't I show myself some love.

Think about it, why do we put our entire worth into the hands of others? It's wonderful if you have someone who shows you love, and not just on this day. It's also okay to desire it too. However, if you don't currently have someone in your life showing you appreciation, then show yourself some appreciation.


Below are a few tips I suggest for those who want to still celebrate this day and feel special, even though you might not have someone who is worth showing it to you:


1). Schedule a spa day: I love treating myself to a good massage and facial. I always come back feeling recharged and refreshed. Also, a lot of places offer specials too so you can get a deal!


2). Make dinner/lunch plans with friends: So what if you don't have a "boo" to spend the day with. Call up some friends and enjoy each others company. If this day is about "love", then this could include friends. Not everything centered around "love" is about a romantic relationship.


3). Make others feel loved: As cliché as it sounds, making others feel loved really kicks out any feeling of loneliness. Whether its making small gifts for your coworkers, or friends, the idea of giving fulfills you more than you waiting to receive love from others.


4). Wine and Dine Yourself: Who says you have to go to a fancy restaurant to have a nice meal and a glass of wine? Yes, it would be nice if someone else cooked for you and served it to you. But, if this year is a little different, then don't skimp on yourself just because you don't have someone. Plan a meal at home, put on some comfy clothes, and pour yourself a glass of wine. And if you're like me, a little latin music, or RnB, puts me into a good mood.


5). Make this a time to reevaluate YOU: Again, putting so much pressure on a day that has no spiritual roots to begin with, should make you pause and ask yourself why do you feel less than when you don't have a significant other on this day? I understand as humans we desire connection and I will never tell anyone to get rid of that. But, can it be that your desires have made you lower your standards? If you have ever thought, "Man if I just had SOMEone on this day I would feel loved", then I have a message for you: Raise your standards! You can feel lonely, if not even more, if you are in the company of someone who doesn't appreciate you. I've been there and done it. I've experienced more love on my own, then being next to someone where I felt alone. Evaluate your desires and make sure your standards are high enough so that all you receive from here on out is the best.


Talk to you soon!

~Coach Alexis





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©2020 Alexis Forteza