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New Year, Same You?



Well, it's that time of the year again folks. The new year is quickly approaching and if you have any type of social media, you should already expect to see hundreds of post pretty much saying this one thing:


"New year new me! This year is going to be MY year!"

Now, before you begin to unfollow everyone who post things like this, let's not forget it is a free country and everyone is entitled to their opinion, even if it does come off as if they are on the band wagon.


While I'm all for people really wholeheartedly believing for change for this upcoming year, I have noticed patterns in our society, which has forced me to look within myself as well, as to this "new year new me" mindset. On the surface it sounds great and very promising. But, how many of us, including myself, has it been literally a new year but the same you?


Take a moment to think about that......


In order for any of us to really see a new "us" in the new year, we have to do this one major task and that is being self aware. Or, in other words, we have to be real with ourselves. I have been very guilty of posting to the WORLD what I am going to do and pretend to be like this warrior woman, only to come to realize that 12 months later, I accomplished only 15% of what I posted about. Talk about embarrassing and a serious ego killer.


It took me till I was 29 years old, sitting at home away from family and friends for the holidays to come to this conclusion of truly being self aware with myself. I'm not talking about that surfacey stuff either. I'm referring to deep self awareness. For anyone who wants their new year to really develop a new you, we have to go deeper within ourselves and be real!


You might've said phrases like these a few times in your life:


"Psh, I always keep it 100 no matter what".

or....


"I already know myself. I know what I want, like, dislike, etc. I'm good".

Sorry to burst your bubble but this isn't deep enough. And, in regards to those who like to say "I keep it 100 no matter what", it's way easier to be 100 towards others and not ourselves. Just like picking out someone else's flaws is 10000000% easier than for ourselves to pick out our own flaws. If you can't be 100% with yourself, then you really have no right to be that towards others.


The deep self awareness that I am referring to might sound something like this:


"I notice that when someone close to me tries to give me advice, I shut down when it doesn't align with what I wanted to hear. Why do I do this? Oh wait....my mother always shut down when others were trying to help her, but she took it offensively as if they were saying she wasn't capable of doing something. I saw that behavior as a child and now look....I do the same thing! I need to work on this".

Notice how the thought goes from knowing you react a certain way, to then asking why, to then finally tracing it back to the root cause. This is the practice of deep self awareness. This is the key ingredient to really wanting to make the next 12 months worth it and notice change happen in your life.


2020 is not only a new year but the start of a new decade. Think about that....a new DECADE. Reflecting on this past decade I've really come to so many truths about my life. Why things happened that were a result of my actions or others. Realizing how my emotions change depending on trigger words that others might say, and most importantly really tracing as far as back as I can to where things might've gotten a little messed up to begin with.


By doing this before the new year, I have already found forgiveness in myself, forgiveness in others, and peace. When you come to peace you will find clarity, and with clarity you will be able to accomplish the things you always have wanted to. This time, with a better sense of self. There will be some hard truths to accept at first, but when you forgive yourself and have a sense a peace, I promise you that is one thing no one can take away from you.


Cheers to a new year upon us and for finally checking off your list of accomplishments.


More of me in 2020!


Xoxo,

Alexis





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©2020 Alexis Forteza