Notebook and Pen



Is Social Media the Cause for Infidelity?

The topic of social media has been a serious debate among millennial's. It's something we can't really avoid.

Social media is not only used for people to keep in touch with and let others know what we are doing at EVERY second of the day, but its become many millennial's source of news, online shopping, dictionary, library, and so forth. Pretty much social media has become the epicenter of life today.

I've lost count how many times I, and others, have blamed social media for infidelity. Now now, before you roll your eyes at this topic, just hear me out.

The "art" of cheating/infidelity has been around since the Earth was created. If you don't believe me, read the Bible. You'll see for yourself.

However, cheating back then vs now has one major difference and that is the accessibility of doing it.

In the beginning of time, in order for a human to actively cheat, you had to seek out the person first by engaging in an actual conversation, putting effort to get to know them, and then actually act it out. I'm referencing the Adam and Eve days to help paint of picture of simple civilization.

Then, at an alarming pace, human exploration became easier with the use of animals as transportation, then boats, then cars, and now planes. All of these things were in place BEFORE cell phones.

Fast forward a few decades and we are now in an era of cell phones being glued to our hands, and social media being more important than our own lives. How many times have you checked social media before praying? Before checking on your family? Your spouse? Your kids? Before sending a "Good Morning" text to someone? Before even eating breakfast?

I have! Guilty as all charge.

Knowing that cheating has been around since the beginning of time is one fact. However, as I've grown into my adult years and single handily witnessed technology take over the world, doesn't it seem logical to blame social media as a huge factor to the rise of infidelity in the world?

I've been a victim to finding out I was cheated on through social media. Literally. Every. Time.

Do I have some trauma there? Absolutely.

However, since I've taken, and still take time to heal, I've realized that even though social media makes the act of cheating much more accessible, it's really the user that is the issue.

We are all born within sin. It's just a part of this spiritual world we live in. However, we are all also born with instincts that tell us what is good and bad. I think we can all agree on that murder,drugs, lying, stealing, and hurting other people are all wrong without even having to ponder too much on them.

However, I've noticed that distractions can easily take us off track as to what is good, or bad for us.

One of those distractions is social media.

Social media, nowadays, is full of highlight reals, perfectly photo shopped bodies and faces, lavish lifestyles that one could only dream, etc. All day we are bombarded by images and/or people that don't even come close to what real lives look like. I'll give you an example of how social media influenced me as woman.

Before Instagram became poppin, I hardly used to wear makeup. A little powder, a little gloss, mascara, and eyeliner and I'm out of the house. However, since my self esteem was brutally bruised all throughout college, I started to really want to look like these girls on Instagram with those flawless faces. And that is what I did.

I spent thousands, and I mean THOUSANDS, of dollars on makeup. I would watch tons of videos of the top beauty influencers, made a list of products they used, and bought them, even if I were broke. I then would sit at home and practice. Needless to say, I actually got good at it. When I went out, I even noticed men treated me differently. They would say I was gorgeous, buy me drinks, and sometimes pay for my cab ride home. Who wouldn't enjoy an ego boost like this right? My naive self took that as a compliment. As a form of self validation and I allowed it to determine my self worth.

I say all of this to say this one thing: social media can either influence your strengths or bring out your weaknesses and insecurities. It brought out mine and temps a lot of others as well.

Real life is beautiful. Flawless humans do not exist. What you see isn't real. We, as a generation, must remember what real life is like. It's ok to follow things and people that better you or you personally care about. But, if it's things that make you devalue what's in front of you, I will argue and say the problem is within the user, not the platform.

Girls who are half naked online are hurt, so they long for validation. Men who are constantly in other women's dm's who are in relationships, are also hurt, because they don't know how to value what's in front of them let alone have disciple.

My biggest hope for the world is to recenter what we value. See people and life for what it is. Nothing or nobody is perfect and if they are trying to portray that online, just know they are seeking to fill a void that can only filled by the purest of things.

I challenge you to ponder on why you follow certain people, brands, pages, etc. Is it because you're trying to escape reality? It is because it motivates you? You use it to compare people? Whatever it may be, if it's not for good, then it needs to exit.

Talk soon!